I have been watching with envy for years as more and more family, friends and co-workers take a Friday off and come back on Monday without their glasses. However, as most of you know, my aversion to risk had so far prevented me from looking into it myself. I was convinced that as the early adopters of this technology aged, their eyeballs would pop out or some other unknown side effect would emerge.
However, at my latest eye exam in December my eye doctor recommended that I at least go for the consultation. My prescription had been steady now for several years and my eyes were healthy so I was a good candidate. Given that some time had gone by, my eye doctor was recommending that I look into and I was tired of buying new glasses, taking them everywhere and just generally dealing with it, I decided to go for the consultation.
My doctor recommended Dr. Thomas Tooma of the TLC Laser Eye Center in Newport Beach. He is supposed to be one of the best doctors in the nation for Lasik and has performed something like 30,000 procedures. Once I went to his place, I can understand why. It is an absolute mill (a very finely appointed mill).
After undergoing a few basic tests, I was greeted by a cheerful, yet professional “patient coordinator” who brought me into an exam room to meet a doctor who examined my eye. I was proclaimed a viable candidate and ushered into the patient coordinator’s office for the sales pitch. Before I knew it, I had a date scheduled to have it done with the upgrades. Yes, that’s right, there are upgrades. With Custom Lasik and Intralase technologies, and after a discount for my insurance, the bill was north of five grand! But, for the best doctor in the country, I was willing to pay.
Fridays are booked far in advance so I decided to book a Monday and take a couple of vacation days for it. We were told to expect a three-hour stay and, as it turned out, it took EXACTLY 3 hours. The Lasik surgery itself only took 45 seconds on one eye and 35 seconds on the other (not including the Intralase procedure).
The Lasik procedure actually reshapes your cornea to correct your vision, but before they can do that they have to slice off the top of your eye so they can do the Lasik underneath. They actually create, what they call, a flap. Traditionally, they have cut the flap with a blade, but now they have a new, very exact and sophisticated technology called “Intralase” which is another laser machine that cuts the flap instead of the blade for an additional fee, of course.
The pre-op procedure (after you pay) takes about an hour. They put drops in your eyes, run all kinds of tests and (the creepiest part of the whole thing) take a marker and write on your eyeball which allows them to line up the laser!!! They give you a half of a Xanax to calm your nerves and usher you into the “laser suite”. You get a chance to meet Dr. Tooma for the first time, although with all the eye drops and Xanax, I didn’t have much to say to the guy other than to wish him good luck.
The Intralase thing took about a minute and then I had to wait about 15 minutes (Dr. Tooma wanted a break and I was not about to deny him that–I’d rather be the first guy AFTER the break than the last guy BEFORE the break). The Lasik machine talks to you as it does its thing. “35 seconds remaining…10 percent complete” and so on. After the laser is done with each eye, he puts the flap back in place and, after the second eye, they tape some shields over your eyes (see the picture) and off you go.
They tell you to keep your eyes closed as much as possible. So, we stopped at Charro Chicken on the way home, I ate a Charro Burrito and off to sleep I went. The Xanax knocked me out until about 5:30 which is right when they told me to take the next Xanax. I did that and slept through until the next morning.
I went to my eye doctor the next morning and had 20/20 vision! The whole thing is amazing. I still have some halos around lights at night time but because I paid extra for Custom Lasik, that is supposed to go away within a few weeks. Wendy says that she is so jealous that she can’t be happy for me, so that’s a pretty good endorsement right there!